Nick is a director/actor/writer/producer and artistic director of Boxcar Theatre in San Francisco. He let’s me sleep on his couch whenever I want. Strangely, the fact that Nick and I know each other, at all, is sheer coincidence.

It’s unusually warm in San Francisco right now. Or maybe it’s just because I’m fat. Regardless, it’s ‘no pants time’ for Nicky. Nothing better than letting it all hang out.

When the economy says fuck you, I say ‘fuck you’ to the economy. Boxcar Theatre, my delightful small company (Give a donation? Yeah thought not) is producing 11 full-length shows this year. Insane. In about a week and a half we open our third show in a season which started mid-September. “Museum” features 38 performers and is performed in actual museums and galleries throughout the Bay Area. We open at the Wax Museum in Fisherman’s Wharf. My favorite part is that the area in which we are performing, they have to move something like 20 statues – the divas: Marilyn Monroe, Reese Witherspoon, Madonna, Beyonce, and I’m gonna let you finish. I’m just happy that it’s the thin Oprah they are having to wheel out.

Speaking of Beyonce, too dated? I’ll proceed. Got an email forward with other Kanye interruptions the day after the awards. The best: Yo Bin Laden I’m ma let you finish, but Anne Frank was the best at Hide and Seek of all time!

The choice between pie and cake tells a lot about a person, so does the way you hang the roll of toilet paper on the spindle. I prefer the from behind technique, gives me more leverage for the tear, and I like pie. Cream pies to be exact. Which brings me back to why my fat ass is sitting in the office without pants on.

But the breeze is fabulous.


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