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Unfortunately, plenty of people don’t know their place when they enter a comedy club. They take entitled attitudes and begin to operate under the delusion that the comedian on stage should provide whatever “type” and/or “style” of humor that they, the paying customers, find suitable. It’s a room full of people, all with different ideas of comedy, and, yet, it seems that everyone expects the comedian to cater to them.

Even when 99% of the crowd is laughing, there are still individuals saying, “This is inappropriate.” “That was loathsome.” “The comedian is vulgar!” Meanwhile, the comedian’s name is on the marquee outside the building. The comedian’s name is on the ticket. The comedian is the product that was purchased, whether you “like” the comedian or not.

I admit, it is disappointing when you see an act who does not give you the thing you want. If you love dirty comedy and the guy on stage is only doing family-friendly puns, you should consider politely leaving. But, you don’t interrupt the show; you don’t blame the performer. You should blame yourself for not researching the product you are purchasing.

Even worse is when an audience member seems shocked by the content. When they try to claim that the humor is unfit for public consumption. When they generalize the subject of a joke while ignoring the content of the joke.

“A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Why the long face?’”
“Oh, really? You think that’s funny?! Animal cruelty is humorous to you?!”
“It was a goofy joke. I didn’t hurt any anim…”
“News flash: Alcohol is a poison! And I’m not going to sit here and laugh while you poison a horse.”

That may seem like an extreme example. But, similar things happen all the time when the subject is suicide, or domestic violence, or whatever topic that a particular audience member deems unacceptable. They irrationally argue the topic instead of the context.

Now, if you are at a comedy club, and you think any topic is unacceptable, let me just remind you of where you’re sitting:

There’s a time and a place for everything. And I think a dark bar, at night, with a bunch of drunken adults is probably the best time and place for a child molestation joke. If you disagree, that’s fine. But, you should just stay home. Don’t blame the comic.

The more you know…

Cheers,

Ryan

Dear Abnormals,

I am proud to announce that I’ll be headlining six shows at The Punch Line in San Francisco.

Not only is this one of the nicest and most prestigious comedy clubs in the world, but it’s also the comedy club at which I began my career, back in 2001. Of all the rooms I’ve stepped foot in, this is the one where I’ve spent the most time:

If you live within walking, driving, or flying distance, you should really try to make it out to one, or all, of the shows. Here are the details:

April 24 – 27
The Punch Line
444 Battery Street
San Francisco, CA 94111
415.397.7573

(Go to the address listed, you’ll see a green awning, go up the stairs to the top of the building, walk around to the front of the club, and look for another green awning. Walk in the doors. Boom. You’re there. It’s tough to find. That’s what makes it extra cool.)

If you absolutely can’t make it to one, or all, of the shows, you still have the opportunity to watch me on a brand new episode of Chelsea Lately on E! Entertainment Television on May 2nd. Yeah… You can watch me on TV… For free… Lucky pricks…

Consider yourself served.

Love,

Ryan

Dear Music Lovers,

Are you upset that I only enter your lives through the world of television, film, and stand-up comedy? Are you suicidal over the fact that you love music, but I have nothing to do with the music industry? Well, don’t kill yourself yet– I’m in a music video!

On Valentine’s Day, my manager called me and said, “Bob?”
“No, this is Ryan Stout.”
“Aww, shi… Ryan! Hey, listen, I’ve got a job offer just for you!! It’s a music video; they need a host character; it pays $xxxxx.xx. But, here’s the catch, you have to be in Long Beach in 4 hours. What d’ya say?”
“Let me ask my girlfriend. …Honey, can I leave you on Valentine’s Day to go make a music video? It pays $xxxxx.xx…”
She said, “Get the hell out of here.”
So, I told my manager, “Yeah, I’ll do it.”

I had no idea what I was getting into. But… Turns out: Good decision!

The video is for Drop City Yacht Club and the song is called “Crickets.” A-Wolf, Kristo, and THX were friendly and nice (which is always appreciated). The director was great and did a great job keeping the concept from getting too cheesy. And I really like the song!

Overall, I’m glad I could be part of this. Enjoy!

Love,

Ryan “The Suit” Stout

Dear Deviants,

This weekend I’ll be headlining FOUR shows at the Mad House Comedy Club in San Diego.

For more info, click HERE.

If you don’t live in or near San Diego, you should check my SCHEDULE to see when I’m near you. It’s real easy to do– Just one click. That simple. But, for some reason, people prefer to ticky-type out a long message to me asking when I’ll be in their area. They could save themselves a lot of typing just by giving a click, but, no, they waste their time… And mine… So, just to punish them, I never respond.

I currently have shows on the books for Atlanta, Seattle, San Francisco, and more. So, give a click!

And come to a show!

See you soon, Freaks!

Love,

Ryan

Dear Patriots,

Happy Presidents’ Day!!

To celebrate, tonight I will appear on Chelsea Lately at 11pm (EST) on E! Entertainment Television.

I’ll join the Round Table alongside the undeniably baseball-capped Josh Wolf and the over-your-head Jen Kirkman. Chris Franjola will also perform a bit of stand-up as our first President! (If you can’t name our first President, you’ll miss the all of the punch lines and, quite frankly, should be studying instead of watching TV.)

Here’s a pic of the gang:

Tune in.

Alright, time to squeeze this eagle into red-white-blue tie-dye t-shirt.

America.

STOUT